heefy_rules

At the Office

Sat, 02 Dec 2006 14:54:12 GMT

To the Blog, HEEFY says hellos.

So, yesterday there was snow, which is good for runlikeamaniac--one of the
GOOD DOG's most favorite things. So it was in the morning, when the pack
does walk-the-guy-to-work, which is procedure, which is trinsically GOOD.
As everyone knows.

But, when we got to the building where the Guy goes in and says, "Heefy,
guard the Liebling," and the Liebling and the GOOD DOG go to hunt for
squirrels... the Blog won't believe it, we didn't.

Instead of hunt for squirrels on the way back to home, we went into the
office and waited. And waited. And waited.

Like this:

And like this:

And even like this:

It made none sense. But that's what we did.

That's all Heefy has to say. Heefy hopes everyone is being good.

ruff

Names and nalysis

Fri, 20 Oct 2006 22:50:34 GMT

Heefy wants to ask the GOOD BLOG what does it mean.

Here are the NAMES that the PACK calls Heefy sometimes:

The guy: Stinknose, Stinky
The Liebling: Squeaker

Here are the NAMES that other people call Heefy:

Guy's Colleague: Magnificent Animal
Student: Adorable
Other Collegue: The Famous Dog
The Joyce: Perfect
[edit] Dogologist: Wonderful

So--what does it mean?

Some Good Things

Thu, 20 Apr 2006 01:09:10 GMT

Hello everyone on the blog, which Heefy, still known as THE GOOD DOG, but sometimes
called by names like STINKNOSE, for no reason, wants to tell the blog about some
good things.

These good things are these GOOD THINGS:

Which, the first thing is this: the GUY has got a job in the MIDDLE OF NOWHERE,
which means there will be interesting things to sniff and the MAGIC DOG FOOD BAG
will stay full, which is good, as everyone knows.

Which, the second thing is this: when the GUY and the LIEBLING treachery the GOOD DOG,
and leave him places, they now leave him at Scott's, where there are CATS, and where
there are also MONSTERS. Heefy always knew that there were MONSTERS, because he is
VIGILANT, by definition, because he is the GOOD dog. So, one night at Scott's, when
Heefy was being VIGILANT, as always, a MONSTER came in through the cat door and Heefy
was ON DUTY and chased it, and it ran up a ladder and into the rafters. And Heefy said:
ALERT, ALERT, ALERT, it's a MONSTER.

[Editor's note, monster = raccoon.]

But Scott, who is very brave, told Heefy to go back to sleep, but Heefy didn't. Heefy
was good and laid down, but watched the MONSTER until it left. So, just like Heefy always
told the GUY and the Liebling, you have to be vigilant, 'cause there are MONSTERS.

Which, the third thing is this: the weather is getting nicer so the GOOD DOG is taked
with more often now, which he approves off, 'cause it is unambiguously good, which
everyone knows.

Which, the fourth thing is this: since it is MOVING again, which is BAD, 'cause it means
stuff will be MOVED--and the GOOD DOG does not like stuff that moves, 'specially LUGGAGE,
wich is DANGEROUS--and so the LIEBLING is putting stuff on her blog. These are GOOD things,
and everyone should go look, but they are not the best things that have Heefy in them.

http://angiereedgarner.livejournal.com/

So, which is that the GOOD DOG has said everything now.

ruff

The Rematch

Fri, 25 Mar 2005 01:14:43 GMT

Hello everyone on the blog,

This is Heefy, the GOOD DOG, who has not written in a while, but now
has something to talk about.

It was today, which was earlier than now, and the Guy came home from
the building where he teaches monkeyology. And the GOOD DOG had not
been out for the very important afternoon walk, because the Liebling
is very busy with the art because of the show--which everyone should
come here to see.

But, anyway, when the Guy came home, the Liebling askeded him to take
the GOOD DOG out, to the Good Park, and so the Guy put Heefy on the
leash and we went out.

Then there was BUBBA.

As everyone who reads Heefy's blog knows, BUBBA is very bad, and he
is a PITBULL, though some people say he is something else, Heefy says
PITBULL. And Heefy was out with the Guy, onaleash, because it is the
town and the GOOD DOG has to be civilized, so he is always onaleash,
even though he doesn't like it. But BUBBA was not. Again.

He charged over from behind the building next door and jumped on HEEFY,
who was very scared, and started to bite, bite, bite... Then the Guy
jumped in with his steeltoes shoes and started to kick BUBBA, which was
very smart, and Heefy thought BUBBA might try to bite the Guy, so Heefy
jumped up and started to get BUBBA good.

Then the Guy started to pull Heefy away and BUBBA got back up and charged
AGAIN, and the Guy kicked him again, and Heefy got him again, and finally
BUBBA's person came over and grabbed BUBBA, and the Guy was not very happy
and told BUBBA's person that he was a BAD DOG OWNER and the Liebling came
out and told him again and the Guy took Heefy in, which was hard, because
the Liebling was still out there with the dangerous BUBBA and Heefy still
had to go to the park, where he had not gone because of BUBBA.

So, finally, the Liebling came back and took Heefy to the Park, which was
good, but the Guy did not come, because he was putting ice on his. BUBBA
did not bite the Guy, but the 'stender leash got his hand pretty good--
but BUBBA cannot be trusted and Heefy will always keep his eye out for him.

And that's what happened.

ruff.

The Great Pitbull Attack

Sun, 23 Jan 2005 22:43:44 GMT

Hello everyone on the blog, that includes Heefy's friends and
other people too, meaning the ones who Heefy does not know and
the person who keeps the pitbull who does maintenance for the
next door building (you know who you are), whom Heefy does not
like at all.

So, there is snow, which is very good, as everyone knows, because
it is over a foot deep, which when you jump in the middle of it
and push your nose down into the cold power, is almost like
schwimmin. And since there is the good snow, and it is cold, the
monkey's have not been taking Heefy--aka the GOOD DOG--for enough
walks at all. Which is almost none, because it if is less than
3 miles, it does not count. But today, when the Liebling was on
the phone, the Guy took the GOOD DOG out to the park at the corner,
and Heefy ran like a maniac on the 'stender leash, which he does
not like, but it is better than the short leash, and Heefy can't
be offaleash inatown.

And we had 'ventures. First, after run like a maniac, was an old
man with a cane who fell down in the street and couldn't get back
up, and the guy wanted to help, so he told Heefy to stay by the
lamppost with his leash, which was not needful, 'cause Heefy wanted
to help too. But then the Guy helped the old man up and came back
and got the GOOD DOG, and we headed home to the BOP.

Except on the way, the Guy saw way far away the big pitbull who
lives in the truck of the maintenance man for the building next
door, which is where they have eye doctors. The man was shoveling
snow, and the Guy couldn't tell if he was onaleash or off, that is,
the pitbull, not the maintenance man. So, we went way, way around
the whole block to come to the BOP from the other direction, which
was good, 'cause it was more schimmin through the deep snow like a
maniac and get-the-leash, which are good games, almost as good as
chase the ball. Except then we crossed the street and came from
behind the 5-foot high piles of snow, and the pitbull saw us.

The Guy was going to take us inside quickly, but the pitbull CHARGED.
It came flying over to attack from half-way to the park, and the Guy
loosened the leash and the stupid man called at his charging pitbull,
uh-huh. Heefy was standing there and the pitbull attacked him with its
mean teeth and Heefy defended himself, and the Guy tried to help by
kicking the pitbull, which was hard enough to lift it off the ground,
which was very good, and it stopped fighting and the Guy pulled Heefy
back, and the stupid monkey from next door came over and said, "Oh,
he never did that before." Uh-huh.

And the that monkey finally dragged the pitbull away and the Guy took
us inside, except I forgot to say that the Liebling heard this from
upstairs, 'cause we were right outside. And we came in and the Guy and
the Liebling checked to see if the GOOD DOG was bleeding, which he
wasn't, but he has bruises and hair pulled out and swelling on his
shoulder. Then they fed Heefy rice with his kibbles, which is pretty
good. So, that's all of the adventures for today.

ruff

Treachery!

Sat, 04 Dec 2004 13:43:30 GMT

Yes, hello, it is Heefy, aka the GOOD DOG, who has not been
here to the blog since the last time he was here. He is here
to tell the blog about TREACHERY.

As everyone knows, the pack lives at the BOP now, which is
in cheeseland, where the Guy is a doctor of monkeyology and
the Liebling does paintings, which are very good. But, and
the blog, the GOOD BLOG, where Heefy has many friends, will
not believe it: in cheeseland the Pack goes for a walk, and
then when we all come back, the monkies use their 'posable
thumbs to open the door and trick Heefy into going inside--
THEN THEY SLAM THE DOOR SHUT SO THE GOOD DOG IS TRAPPED.

TREACHERY!

The GOOD DOG suspects it that they go to a coffee shop,
where there are waitresses, who are Heefy's favorite kind
of monkey-person, 'cause they give Heefy things.

And today, the GOOD DOG has not been for a walk yet, and
thinks the Pack is going to Chicagos, but does not know if
he is going with the pack.

So, hello to everyone on the blog.

ruff

banished

Tue, 24 Aug 2004 10:16:53 GMT

Last night, the blog will not believe it, but the GOOD DOG
was banished from the pack sleeping den, TROUT ["thrown out,"
ed.] into the the hallway with the door closed, for no reason.
[= waking the pack up with increasingly obnoxious noises and
behaviors, ed.]

But, there was a good part, and that was schwimmin, which was
earlier in the day, down at the good TURTLE CREEK, which is a
new NATURE PRESERVE, which Heefy liked.

ruff.

Adapting

Tue, 17 Aug 2004 13:30:39 GMT

There are many new things here, but the GOOD DOG
is learning to live at the BOP apartment, even
though there are noises, and the Guy keeps doing
constructions (which are bad), and moving stuff
around (which everyone already knows is very BAD).

This morning Heefy is waiting very patiently for
a walk, which is hard, 'cause patience is hard,
as everyone knows.

ruff.

Hard Times

Sun, 15 Aug 2004 03:48:19 GMT

The GOOD DOG had a good walk today, but the Monkeys were
mad at him for no reason, just 'cause he was too close to
the stupid road when he was off-the-leash. But the main bad
thing is that the BOP apartment is not settled down, 'cause
the guy is building stuff like a maniac and there are still
boxes EVERYWHERE and the Monkeys keep moving stuff.

As everyone knows, things that move are BAD.

Also, Heefy suspects that the Monkeys went out and ate Pizza,
which as everyone knows is a type of cheese sandwich, without
the GOOD DOG. Heefy does not think the blog will believe it.

There was one very good thing though. Heefy went schwimmin.
It was in a crick, called Turtle Creek, but the GOOD DOG was
on-a-leash, when he was schwimmin, which was strange, but the
Liebling had the leash and thought the GOOD DOG would run off
someplace where he shouldn't.

Good night to the blog. ruff.

Bunnies & Noises

Fri, 13 Aug 2004 13:03:11 GMT

Here in Bopland, where the GOOD DOG now lives with the
Pack, there are many BUNNIES, which is good, though Heefy
has caught none yet, 'cause he is onaleash. Except, yesterday,
we went to the OTHER NATURE PRESERVE. Yes, the blog will not
believe it, but there is a different NATURE PRESERVE, and it
is new, and it is very good. The GOOD DOG even got to chase
the ball, but he didn't go schwimmin, 'cause the monkeys didn't
want Heefy to get wet, which, as everyone knows, is silly.
Getting wet is very good.

It's still hard to sleep at night, 'cause there are lots of
noises that Heefy doesn't know about, and they could be zombies,
or squirrels, or worse--other dogs trying to steal Heefy's food.
The noises, mostly, come from the down-the-stairs place, which
is called BOP, so we live above the BOP, and at the BOP, there is
a thing called a JUKE BOX, which makes noises. Heefy does not mind
noises, and the JUKE BOX is not a bad thing when the Pack is at
the BOP, and Heefy can see and smell the JUKE BOX thing. But when
the GOOD DOG is up-the-stairs, at the BOP apartment where we live,
it is strange, especially if there are people talking.

The monkeys say they can hardly hear anything from the BOP, but
as the GOOD DOG reminded them, Heefy has GENORMOUS EARS, that
can hear very good.

But, Heefy had two walks yesterday, plus throw the ball, so
life is pretty good. All he needs now is a cheese sandwich.

ruff.

At the BOP

Tue, 10 Aug 2004 02:28:52 GMT

It was driving to the BOP, which is a long drive
from Shermany, where we used to live until the day
before yesterday, but now we live here. We came
and Will came with us and helped to move BOXES up
the stairs. That took a long time.

There are BUNNIES here, which is good, but Heefy
has not got any yet, 'cause he is ON-A-LEASH, and
we went down to the BOP, which is a bar downstairs
from where we live, and the Guy had a beer and the
Liebling had wine, and the GOOD DOG got nothing.

But then the Guy made bread, and baked it downstairs,
'cause the oven isn't working yet, and Heefy had some,
which is like a cheese sandwich without the cheese,
but with olive oil instead, which was good.

Heefy has not had enough walks, 'cause the monkeys
say they are tired.

ruff.

Movin'

Fri, 06 Aug 2004 12:56:16 GMT

Heefy, as everyone who reads this blog knows, does
not like stuff that moves. Stuff that moves means
big things that are supposed to stand still, like
chairs and couches and desks and tables and suitcases
and art cabinet thingees and other monkey things.
So, since the GOOD DOG does not like stuff that moves,
it is true that MOVING is BAD. When you MOVE, everything
moves.

We are moving.

Heefy suspected it 'cause we did strange things. Like
when we drove someplace far away that was not Chicagos.
And then we went and slept at the BOP, where the pack
did PAINT THE FLOOR, which Heefy has decided is even
more boring than reading, and the Guy got mad at the
GOOD DOG for no reason, even though the GOOD DOG slipped
and almost fell on the painted floor rushing to protect
the Liebling from someone who was coming across the roof.
That person looked like a zombie, which Heefy doesn't
like--zombie's are BAD--but it was really the Guy. Heefy
was very brave but the Guy got mad.

And the GOOD DOG had latex paint on his paws.

Then we came back to Shermany, but the Guy has been putting
everything in boxes, like books and candles and books and
art supplies, and books, and clothes, and books, and papers
and books. The Guy and the Liebling have a lot of books. They
read a lot. And now there is almost nothing left. So Heefy
thinks it is very close to Moving.

Heefy hopes they have CHEESE SANDWICHES and SCHWIMMIN where
we move to.

ruff.

All-Night Strange Events

Fri, 30 Jul 2004 16:00:21 GMT

Last night it was very NEW, 'cause the GOOD DOG
went with his whole pack, that is, the Guy, the
Liebling, plus even Will, down to the downtown
where the Studio-Gallery Place is. But, it was
not like other times, when Heefy was Gallery Dog
'cause we stayed all night.

That's right, it was all night, 'cause of a
MOVIE, which is like READING, and the GOOD DOG
could not sleep, 'cause it was exciting. There
were lots of monkeys outside, and some even came
into the Gallery. And there were lights, and Heefy
had lots of admirers, and was very GOOD, which
goes without saying, and had CRACKERS. But none
cheese. None.

And then there was a little black dog, but not
too little, who was a puppy named CD. Heefy growled
at the puppy through the front glass, but then the
Liebling took the GOOD DOG out to meet him, and he
was good. (Editor's note, CD is Orlando Bloom's 7
month old lab-mix who was a stray in Morocco where
Bloom rescued him during the filming of Troy.) The
puppy's person admired HEEFY and told the Guy that
Heefy was a "beautiful dog" after Heefy sniffed the
puppy. The Guy said that CD's person is really an
ELF.

Then other peoples came into the Gallery, even some
with an BIG light that bugs liked, and they admired
Heefy.

And later a little blond vampire who the Guy said
was Spiderman's girlfriend came into the Galleries
and scratched the GOOD DOG's ears and made happy
monkey noises and wanted to play with the GOOD DOG,
as is only right, but she had to WORK. WORK, Heefy
tried to explain, is VERY BAD. (Editor's note: Kirsten
Dunst).

Here are some GOOD pictures.

ruff

A Good Thing

Fri, 23 Jul 2004 11:32:47 GMT

Here is a very good thing that the Liebling
made that everyone should look at. It is a
bird. ruff

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=3737942836

travels and cheese sandwiches

Tue, 20 Jul 2004 22:20:15 GMT

Yes, we went somewhere, which was not the NATURE
PRESERVE, except we went there first, but the GOOD
DOG did not run like a maniac and CHASE THE BALL,
'cause it was EXERCISE. For the monkeys.

Then we were in the car, and we went someplace.
The place we went was Chicagos, where Heefy has
been before, 'cause he lived there. But, we did
not go to our apartment by HUMBOLDT PARK, which is
like the NATURE PRESERVE, and we didn't stay.

We went to see Leon and Maryann and went to a
place which had wait-staff, who are good, and one
gave the GOOD DOG water.

But we didn't stay. Instead we went to another
place, which was NEW, and stayed in a place which
smelled like smoke and gave the GOOD DOG allergies,
but we also walked by a river for a long time,
which was good, and Heefy had a cheese sandwich
with the Guy.

So, now we are BOPSTERS, 'cause we are going to
live in a new place which is a BOP, which Heefy
can't explain.

ruff.

Stipulations

Tue, 13 Jul 2004 21:56:10 GMT

Heefy--aka the GOOD DOG--wants it stipulated (that means
paid attention to) that it is HOT. This is BAD. The GOOD
DOG did not get to go schwimmin today, even though it is
HOT, 'cause there was constructions. Constructions are
BAD.

The GOOD DOG has been sleeping close to the air conditioning
ducts most of the day, which is boring, but necessary.

Heefy hopes everyone understands and goes schwimmin.

ruff

oops

Thu, 08 Jul 2004 00:14:28 GMT

Heefy forgot to put the link to the good
thing what that the Liebling made. Here
it is

http://www.livejournal.com/users/angiereedgarner/

A GOOD THING, GO LOOK

Wed, 07 Jul 2004 20:56:59 GMT

The Liebling, who is one of my pack-monkeys, made a
good art thing, that Heefy approves of, 'cause it is
handsome, especially the lower left hand section part,
where there is a Sherman, who looks like Heefy, 'cause
Heefy was the 'spiration.

Everyone should look at this good thing, 'cause, um, it's
good.

ruff.

Exploding Heads

Wed, 07 Jul 2004 13:24:47 GMT

Um, this is so that everyone, especially
my pack, will know and believe that if a
GOOD DOG, a good Sherman [editor's note:
German Shepherd], does not get a walk first
thing in the morning, then his HEAD COULD
EXPLODE.

Everyone on the blog should link their
blogs and webpages to this good entry, so
that google will know that it is important.
Then everyone will be able to come here,
to a reliable source, about exploding Sherman
heads.

ruff!

Heefy's Good Words

Mon, 05 Jul 2004 21:41:02 GMT

heefy_rules's Word Usage

1. the (381)	26. bad (31)	51. they (16)	76. from (12)
2. and (168)	27. preserve (30)	52. it's (16)	77. now (12)
3. good (139)	28. nature (30)	53. things (16)	78. with (12)
4. to (122)	29. are (28)	54. didn't (15)	79. who (11)
5. was (116)	30. there (28)	55. monkeys (15)	80. or (11)
6. is (113)	31. for (28)	56. means (15)	81. that's (11)
7. it (90)	32. at (27)	57. about (15)	82. know (11)
8. dog (82)	33. ruff (25)	58. be (15)	83. were (11)
9. a (76)	34. as (25)	59. also (14)	84. my (11)
10. but (68)	35. sherman (24)	60. knows (14)	85. do (11)
11. he (64)	36. when (24)	61. get (14)	86. hey (11)
12. which (62)	37. this (24)	62. pack (14)	87. stuff (10)
13. cause (52)	38. like (24)	63. no (14)	88. way (10)
14. very (51)	39. today (23)	64. where (14)	89. did (10)
15. so (51)	40. has (22)	65. you (13)	90. even (10)
16. of (48)	41. liebling (21)	66. thing (13)	91. one (10)
17. not (45)	42. by (20)	67. him (13)	92. down (10)
18. that (43)	43. all (20)	68. blog (13)	93. nose (9)
19. on (43)	44. day (19)	69. too (13)	94. wanted (9)
20. we (41)	45. everyone (19)	70. other (13)	95. what (9)
21. i (41)	46. his (19)	71. me (13)	96. walk (9)
22. in (40)	47. because (19)	72. cheese (13)	97. been (9)
23. heefy (37)	48. went (19)	73. dogs (12)	98. had (9)
24. go (36)	49. have (18)	74. them (12)	99. will (9)
25. guy (33)	50. then (17)	75. got (12)	100. said (8)

Username:
Word Count by Hutta.

Go Here

Wed, 30 Jun 2004 02:48:36 GMT

Everyone should go to this place, where you can see
the GOOD DOG doing good things in pictures where the
Liebling's good paintings are.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/angiereedgarner/51365.html

Good Things

Tue, 29 Jun 2004 00:45:35 GMT

The last two days have been very good, which is
GOOD, because the GOOD DOG has had two--one, two--
walks every day. Also, these good walks have
been with CHASE THE BALL and GO SCHWIMIN, which,
as everyone knows, are very good.

So, we just came back from the NATURE PRESERVE, and
Heefy is very tired, 'cause he went SCHWIMIN a lot,
BUT, the Liebling got bit by skeeters, which is BAD,
'cause skeeters are mean. There was not too much
reading today, except when the GOOD DOG was sleepin,
which is good.

Everyone should be very happy about this, 'cause it
is important.

uh-huh, ruff.

Every day

Sun, 20 Jun 2004 22:55:52 GMT

Every day is SUPPOSED to be the same. It is SUPPOSED to be
like the day before, so long as that day, the day before, was
a GOOD DAY.

This is 'cause the dog has 'spectations. So, now, the way the
day is 'posed to go, is that the GOOD DOG goes first--very
first, meaning early in the morning time, after Heefy get up
out of sleep--to the NATURE PRESERVE. At the NATURE PRESERVE,
he is 'posed to CHASE THE BALL, and to go in the good BOG, which
all GOOD DOGS like, because it is muddy water, which is very
good, which is obvious to everyone 'cept monkeys, who are stupid.

Then, later, after Heefy dries off, he is 'posed to go and be
studio dog, which is stressful, but interested. But today, the
GOOD DOG must report, things did not go the way things are 'posed
to go, and the GOOD DOG was not studio dog, but had to sleep most
of the day, 'cause the pack was doing other things. Which is not
good, 'cept the GOOD DOG did need some sleep, 'cause he was
tired.

ruff.

Gallery Dog

Sun, 13 Jun 2004 18:27:02 GMT

Yesterday, that was Saturday, (because today is Sunday),
the GOOD DOG was GALLERY DOG. This means that he went to
the downtown, which is kind of like Chicagos, but it isn't,
and he went with the Liebling, to look after her, 'cause
peoples come there.

So, he was at the gallery-studio place all day and there
were admirers who wanted to meet Heefy, and, best of all
there were COOKIES. [Editor's note: "COOKIES" in this case
were actually wheat crackers, but Healthcliff tends not to
differentiate between kinds of small treats--they are all
COOKIES, stemming from the days when he couldn't spell
biscotti.] And the Liebling gave the GOOD DOG many COOKIES
for doing good things, like staying on his dog bed even
when peoples came into the gallery and greeting them
POLITELY. The GOOD DOG is always GOOD, but he is not always
polite, 'cause sometimes peoples are BAD and you have to
warn them that you are very BIG and DANGEROUS.

So, he got COOKIES.

ruff.

Lazy Day

Mon, 07 Jun 2004 22:34:09 GMT

The DOG was lazy today, sleeping, except this morning
when we went to the coffee shop, which was good.

Mostly when we go to the coffee shop it is boring,
because it's reading, which as everyone knows is
very bad, but today there was admirers. One was a
waiter, which is like a waitress, and he brought
me a doggie-cookie, which is almost as good as a
real cookie.

Then we came home and the guy was writing and the
liebling was napping and the GOOD DOG helped with
the napping, which was good.

ruff.